ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
