You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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