Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
