god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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