Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
