I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
BRING THE BAGELS
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
