i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
