I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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