i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
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