Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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