Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
