Having a random hookup so left but love u
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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