Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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