Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
