I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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