Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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