now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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