so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
