Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
