I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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