Can i not drive my cunt home
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
