She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
