the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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