i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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