In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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