She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
