There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
