I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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