Who did Billy Mays play for?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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