I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
