it hurts more in the daytime
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
