Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
