What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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