Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
