this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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