My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
