It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
