peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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