I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
