on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
