hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Two words: nipple clamps
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