Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
