Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
