I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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