So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
