Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
