I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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