oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
