Christians are straight up FREAKS
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
