I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
